Father’s Day after Dad has Passed

Father’s Day is a celebration of Dad’s and many families are planning to make it special for “the old man”!

But when your father has died, it can be a painful day of remembering what you have lost. While loss is difficult at ANY age, I feel for kids, teens and twenties, when all the kids around them have a Dad to celebrate (or MOAN about!!)

I was in my mid-twenties when my Dad died after 4 years of debilitating illness. I had wonderful memories of our family life when he was well, but always regretted not having the “adult” relationship many develop as both father and child mature into adulthood. I wish he had known what I did with the life he gave me.

But just because Dad is gone we can still honour him on this special day.

* Write Dad a letter.

Tell him about your feelings. Let him know how much you miss him, or even that you are angry at him for leaving you. Then, if you are really into this, write “the reply” that Dad might send back to you if he could.

* Look at photographs and letters.

This is a wonderful way to tell children about their father or grandfather. Encourage them to share the things they remember about him.

* Invite friends and family.

Have friends and family to share memories and their stories of Dad. You will learn things about him you never knew and about the impact your Dad had on other people’s lives.

* Do his favorite thing.

Visit Dad’s special place, whether it is a beach, a cabin in the woods, a golf course, a park bench, a museum, the opera, or his front porch. Spend the day doing whatever gave your Dad the most pleasure in life. It will bring you closer to him.

My Dad didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.

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